July

"Every night I lie in bed 

The brightest colors fill my head 

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see 

A million dreams is all it's gonna take 

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make."
-The Greatest Showman

 Sitting on the porch at twilight, the summer wind wafting through the trees, and the last rays of deep sun silhouetting the trees, I write. I'm rather tired, to be honest. My kitten is demanding my attention, and I can't seem to find a comfortable position for writing this. There. Pride and Prejudice piano airs are smoothing my nerves. 

Last week I went on a Mission Trip to the Native American Reservation up in Okanogan and we did a "VBS" for the kids up there. It was my third year doing that. Every year there are new things that happen while I'm there, and I learn a lot. 

So much has gone on in our family that I barely know where to begin. I would rather not be keeping track of certain details sometimes, but I must, as I promised to do. Penka, the eldest child, does not live with us any longer, because she was physically and emotionally abusive to the younger children to the point that it was not healthy for them. It was tearing apart our family. Our friends tried to take her, but it did not work out. Unfortunately, nobody wants her right now, as she was kicked out of Girl's Camp for being mean, and the boarding schools are all turning her down. Anyhow, it is logged. 

I am moving on with this post. The other three kids are improving significantly now that she is gone, and a big milestone was that instead of having a star chart for physical violence towards one another, we now have a star chart for yelling. This has been a really rough year to be perfectly honest. A year, I say, and a year I mean, for this is practically the anniversary post of my blog. Anyhow, it is not worth saying twice, and there have likewise been many good things this year. I just wanted to clarify that for memories' sake.

 I was going to add some funny phrases of the kid's now that their English is much better. Here they are:

 Das na foony eral Mom! -Ivan 

The "Stamily House" -all of them, in reference to our old house on Stanley St. Mam, are we going dis dat? -Donka, asking if we were climbing the mountain she pointed at. 

So Jelly -All, they picked it up at school and did not even know that the work was Jealous because Jelly was all that the kids there said when they talked about being Jealous. 

There are others, but those are the ones I can think of now. They barely ever talk in Bulgarian now, but there English is definitely a bit mixed grammatically. Anyhow, that's all there. Next week I am going to be a counselor at Girl's Camp, and Petra is going too. I am going to be on the worship team singing, which is pretty exciting, as I love singing! The next week I will be going to youth camp, and I return from that on my birthday. The day after that, I have my party, then I have a free Sunday, then on Monday, bright and early, I get braces. Joy. I will probably take my driving test that week too.

 Then we go straight to Montana for two weeks. Then, believe it or not, Summer is over. I wouldn't change anything, it's just... I'm so tired... Did I mention that I am also taking science through the summer??? Ahhh! I was finally able to print the first draft of my book on paper and am now editing it there! Yay! Soon, if I am diligent, I hope to have it published... 

Anyways, we'll see. Just listening to music, the sun is almost completely gone now, and the first star is visible(or maybe it's a planet, who knows...). I must sign off now, here is a poem that I wrote: 

The Struggle

A darkness prevailed,

There was no light. 

Behind the dim and longsuffering night. 

Clouds roamed strong and began to fight, 

Throughout the dark long-suffering night. 

The tempests raged 

The earth was torn

No struggle was there that was not born

Beneath those clouds 

Amidst the ruin

Of hopes and dreams 

That were everywhere strewn. 

Boasting their prowess 

The storms fought on 

Raging in terror 

Their curtains drawn 

It was seen plainly, 

The doom of that night 

Oh, the doom of that lurid long suffering flight. 

Pain and heartaches were there to stay 

And waves of shadow bore the way

In the midst of doom there shone no light 

It was as it was, unending night.

Perhaps by day 

The world will change 

Who knows? 

We fight, but not in vain. 

Is there a path that can be sought? 

To save us from the wrath it wrought? 

Yes indeed 

The path is clear 

Look up, look up and see! It’s near! 

The night, it ends 

And day breaks forth!

The day That never more shall go away 

The day of hope that is to stay 

-Miriam Billing