The Best Five Years

"It's just a little voice and if you're listening, sometimes a little voice can say the biggest things."  - Sara Bareilles  Sometimes, it is really hard for me to know what it is I truly want.  I am filled with the idealism of youth, the insatiable, almost heartbreakingly beautiful need to right the wrongs of an irrevocably evil world. To end the evils that pervade this society- to make a difference. I strive for change, inconstant and transient as that is. Change terrifies me, yet I need it to live. I know that it cannot be me that creates the good change in this world. It can only be God. I alone am foolishly idealistic and burdened with an incomplete understanding of reality. That is, I suffer from the disease called humanity. But I can be a vessel. I do believe that. I believe that in spite of my own weakness, I am useful to the Creator, so long as I give myself entirely to Him. Let this be my prayer: to commit my thoughts, actions, direction, and love to God, tha...

" You're at your best with an ache in your chest  And that worn out old song that you play"  -Allison Krauss It's been a while since I've been here, writing on the blog. I think I'm going to change that today, and do you know why? One, this is not going to be much read(at least for a while), and that will give me freedom to really voice my thoughts, and two, I have a lot of thoughts that need to be written.  I am busy with school and life, but I've been trying to journal at least three times a week. I've been laughing often, listening to good music, and surrounding myself with good people. I miss my friends back in Washington, and I miss things that have passed, but I am learning each day that life brings the unexpected, and there is no sense in wanting to go back and have once more what has passed. I love to think back, cry a few tears, and pray a prayer of thankfulness for the life I've led so far, but I am happy now, h appy to be here, to be lea...

"A man learns who is there for him When the glitter fades and the walls won't hold 'Cause from then, rubble One remains Can only be what's true If all was lost Is more I gain 'Cause it led me back To you" -From Now On, The Greatest Showman     There is a line at which those who are false cease to cross. The boat has sailed, and those left at the bank care not whether those aboard ship make it safely to their destination, for they themselves are safe on shore. That is what I've found, anyway. Those who you think are your friends are there, then gone in an instant. They forget you instead of stepping up to the task of being your friend.      I was just listening to From Now On , and it struck me forcibly of this very fact. That those who are true will be brought out in times of the most severe loss. And, those who were only in it for their gain fade away forevermore. This has been good and bad for me. I hurt deeply and long for my f...

"There is no such thing as an ordinary life." - L. M. Montgomery I was exploring the recesses of my google docs files, and I came across these little ditties. They are not too old, but they were slightly better than I remember.  The Blur of Time I had a thought. Time is just going by How strange What Happened? What Changed? A moment is simply a moment. But is it? Or is it a blur? I tend to not decide. It is what it is. How much is imaginary? How much is real? What is there to see? What is there to feel? Mechanical? Or not? Life passes by. Just a dream, But not a lie. In truth, be there some, It is the ticking of a clock. Whose clock? That is the question. Rather, a decision. The consensus being that one ought to choose. For himself, for his thoughts. Let them brink on reality. Let not the reality be too defined. Let his thoughts float away- away. Some have called it freedom. Some have called it insan...

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." - Anne of Green Gables      October: What a crazy month! It has been going swimmingly for the most part, many writing assignments, Biology tests, and other schoolwork. As far as what I'm involved in, the list goes on and on. It suffices to say that I am quite busy and happily employed with what I am doing.      October. I think that fall is the sweetest time of the year. The leaves are turning, and the sky is unpredictable. Some days, it is crystal blue, and others, it is dark and mysterious. At night, the sky is cold and peaceful, and a feeling of calm resonates in the stars- stationary and embodying perfection.      Nothing extraordinary has happened this month which begs mention, so I shall include some poetry or other nonsense to occupy my readers in its place. (This is a creative piece that I turned in for my English class a couple weeks ago.) Fireflies and So...

"Every night I lie in bed  The brightest colors fill my head  A million dreams are keeping me awake I think of what the world could be A vision of the one I see  A million dreams is all it's gonna take  A million dreams for the world we're gonna make." -The Greatest Showman  Sitting on the porch at twilight, the summer wind wafting through the trees, and the last rays of deep sun silhouetting the trees, I write. I'm rather tired, to be honest. My kitten is demanding my attention, and I can't seem to find a comfortable position for writing this. There. Pride and Prejudice piano airs are smoothing my nerves.  Last week I went on a Mission Trip to the Native American Reservation up in Okanogan and we did a "VBS" for the kids up there. It was my third year doing that. Every year there are new things that happen while I'm there, and I learn a lot.  So much has gone on in our family that I barely know where to begin. I would rathe...

This is my kitten, Moses. She is named after the children's story by James Herriott.